JOKES-GRAPJES-FUN- READ THIS-LEES DIT:

FUNNY STUFF TO READ....A LOT OF JOKES !
Bumper Stickers for Women...
SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.
MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.(Guilt, the gift that keeps on giving)
PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG.
COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. . . SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN-AND I HAVE A GUN.
GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?
NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.
AND YOUR POINT IS...?
WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.
ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?
SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.
IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.
DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.
Rudy J Boxman

-------------------------------------------
THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART WHILE YOUR FRIENDS/FAMILY TAKE THEIR OWN SWEET TIME
1. Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when they
aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "I think we
have a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
5. Put some M&M's on lay away.
6. Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite
them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't
you people leave me alone."
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you
pick your nose.
10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission
Impossible.'
11. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows
where the anti-depressants are.
12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size
funnels.
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through whisper "PICK
ME! PICK ME!!!!!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal
position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go to the fitting room and yell real loud....."Hey we're out of toilet
paper in here!"

Rudy J Boxman
-------------------
These are fun! Here are a few of mine to add to the list.
11. People who ask "Can't you just pull yourself together?" Yes, of
course I can. I choose to feel like this. Go ask the diabetics why they
don't just pull up their blood sugar levels.
12. People who can't count to 10. These people are mostly found with full
carts in the quick checkout lineups at supermarkets and department stores.
They also seem to be hard of hearing - they do not respond when you ask
"Isn't this a 10 item only line?" no matter how loudly I ask.
13. People who feel that handicapped parking includes those whose handicap
is an inablility to read, or total insensitivity.
14. TV programs that only have one sponsor with one commercial that is
dull to begin with and downright annoying by the time you have seen it
sixteen times in a half hour. Do they really think we will buy the product
after that?
15. When my doctor's secretary asks "How are you?" Duh. I'm fine. That's
why I'm here.
16. After you have given your order at a drive-through, and confirmed
"that's it for today" and are told to "drive on through". No I thought I'd
just sit here till you brought it out to me, totally ignoring the six other
cars behind me.
17. 12 inch packaging for a one inch product that you can't get out
without breaking three nails and ripping the cardboard right where the most
important instruction is.

18. People who ask "Hot enough for you?" when the temperature is 82
degrees with 90% humidity, my clothes are soaked with sweat and sticking to
me and my face is beet red. These are the same people who ask "Cold enough
for you?" when it is -10 and the wind is 80 mph and I forgot my mitts.
19. Books bought at a garage sale held by a sadist who has carefully torn
out the last three pages.
20. Child proof prescription bottles that need the manual dexterity of a
highly trained scientist to line up the two little arrows and keep them
lined up while exerting the strength of a weight lifter to pop off the cap.
Rudy J Boxman
-------------
Humor: Modern Proverbs
----------------------
If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've
never tried before.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is
serious.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government
program.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the
trip.
Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way
again.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so
good.
Eat well, stay fit--die anyway.
No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of
the waist change places.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need
it.
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize
mistake when you make it again.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Thou shalt not weigh more than the refrigerator.
I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is
when I'm in the bathroom.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall
never cease to be amused.
Rudy J Boxman
--------
Barbie Fun !
Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that
it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present.
He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store and says to the shop
assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?"
In a condescending manner, she says "Which Barbie?" She
continues, "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie
Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95,
Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Night Clubbing
for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00".
Ralph asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the
others are only $19.95?"
"That's obvious" the sales lady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with
Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..."
Rudy J Boxman

______________
Old! Who? Me?
Today at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent.
From my purchase this chap took off ten percent.
I asked for the cause of a lesser amount;
And he answered, 'Because of the Seniors Discount.'
I went to McDonald's for a burger and fries;
And there, once again, got quite a surprise.
The clerk poured some coffee which he handed to me,
He said, 'For you Seniors the coffee is free.'
Understand, I'm not old, I'm merely mature;
But some things are changing, temporarily, I'm sure.
The newspaper print gets smaller each day,
And people speak softer; can't hear what they say.
My teeth are my own; I have the receipt!
And my glasses identify people I meet.
Oh, I've slowed down a bit, not a lot, I am sure.
You see, I'm not old, I'm only mature.
The gold in my hair has been bleached by the sun.
You should see all the damage that chlorine has done.
Washing my hair has turned it all white,
But don't call it gray, saying 'blonde' is just right.
My car is all paid for; not a nickel is owed.
Yet a kid yells, 'Old duffer, get off of the road!'
My car has no scratches, not even a dent.
Still I get all that guff from a punk who's 'Hell bent.'
My friends all get older, much faster than me.
They seem much more wrinkled, from what I can see.
I've got 'character lines, not wrinkles, for sure.
But don't call me old, just call me mature.
The steps in the houses they're building today
Are so high that they take your breath all away;
And the streets are much steeper than ten years ago.
That should explain why my walking is slow.
But I'm keeping up on what's hip and what's new.
And I think I can still dance a mean swing or two.
I'm still in the running, in this I'm secure.
I'm not really old, I'm only mature.
Rudy J Boxman
__________________
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a
glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as
a worm in water could be.
The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you wont get worms."
Rudy J Boxman
___________________
Airplane flight FUN.
Fifteen minutes into flight, the pilot announced: "Ladies and gentlemen, one
of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will
take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."
Thirty minutes later the pilot announced: "One more engine has failed and
the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry, we can fly
just fine on two engines." An hour later the pilot announced: "One more
engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But
don't worry, we still have one engine left."
The man in seat 17A turned to the woman next to him and said, "If we lose
one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"
Rudy J Boxman
___________________________________
Coffee FUN:
You Know You Are Addicted To Coffee When...
You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
You sleep with your eyes open.
You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the
timer.
You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
You can jump-start your car without cables.
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged
in.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
People get dizzy just watching you.
Instant coffee takes too long.
You channel surf faster without a remote.
You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
You short out motion detectors.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
You help your dog chase its tail.
You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
You ski uphill.
You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
You answer the door before people knock.
You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
Rudy J Boxman

__________________________
I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN, and I think I am having the time of my life!!!!
I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.
I'm very good at telling stories.....over and over and over and over
I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.
I'm so cared for: long term care, eye care, private care, dental care....
I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, children,
politicians ...........
I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.
I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.
I'm having trouble remembering simple words like.
I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies.
I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, antismoke, anti-noise,
anti-inflammatory ...
I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.
I'm going to reveal what goes on behind closed doors ... absolutely
nothing!
I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.
I'm in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA'S, AARP .....
I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at
150?
I'm supporting all movements now ... by eating bran, prunes, and raisins.
I'm a walking storeroom of facts ... I've just lost the storeroom.
I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!!!!
Rudy J Boxman
-------------------------------------
Job Evaluation
OUTGOING PERSONALITY.......Always going out of the office
GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS................Able to bull&$%#@!*
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS.............Spends lots of time on phone
AVERAGE EMPLOYEE.................................Not too bright
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED.........Made no major blunders yet
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY.........................Too ugly to get a date
ACTIVE SOCIALLY......................................Drinks a lot
FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY..................Spouse drinks, too
INDEPENDENT WORKER......................Nobody knows what he/she does
QUICK THINKING........................................Offers plausible excuses
CAREFUL THINKER....................................Won't make a decision
AGGRESSIVE..............................................Obnoxious
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS...........Gets someone else to do it
EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL.............Speaks English
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL...A nit picker
HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES.................Is tall or has a loud voice
EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT...Lucky
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR.......................Knows a lot of dirty jokes
CAREER MINDED............................Back Stabber
LOYAL............................................Can't get a job anywhere else
Rudy J Boxman
-------------------------------------
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING 'MARVELOUSLY MATURE' WHEN.............
1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.
2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and
discover you aren't wearing any.
3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and
you're not eating cereal.
4. Your back goes out but you stay home.
5. When you wake up looking like your driver's license
picture.
6. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
7. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
8. When happy hour is a nap.
9. When you're on vacation and your energy runs out before
your money does..
10. When you say something to your kids that your mother said
to you and you always hated it.
11. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded
of your age.
12. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to
make sure the street is still there.
13. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
14. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
15. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
16. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
17. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
18. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
19. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking
lot.
20. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the
sun on your bifocals.
21. It takes twice as long - to look half as good.
22. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.
23. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were
on your head the whole time.
24. You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.
25. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel
good.
26. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just
don't care anymore.
27. You finally get your head together and your body starts
falling apart.
28. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't
even remember being on top of it.
Rudy J Boxman
------------------------------
These are actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the
world famous International Institute of Answering Machines...
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your
name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
A is for academics,
B is for beer.
One of those reasons is
Why we're not here.
So leave a message.
Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If
you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid
institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe
me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
(Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly the
telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet
paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms windmilling at incredible
speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain. The
bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message.
"Hi. Now you say something."
(From a Japanese guy in Toronto.) He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave
message, I call you soon. If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!
"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these
magnets."
"Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with
her tape deck, so I'm stuck taking her calls. If you'd like anything cooked
while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone."
"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My
owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub. Their carpets are always
clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need any
pictures taken. They believe the stock market is a random crapshoot, and the
entire insurance industry is one huge scam perpetrated by Mafioso
accountants. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they
will get back to you."
"Hi. I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a
message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
"This is not an answering machine: this is a telepathic thought recording
device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and
a number where you can be reached, and my owner will think about returning
your call."
"Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a
message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."
"If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons
right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home
and it's safe to leave us a message."
"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very, sleepy
now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist
suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to
leave your name, number, and a message."
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now,
because we're doing something we really enjoy. I like doing it up and down,
and Sonya likes doing it left to right...real slowly. So leave a message,
and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you."
Rudy J Boxman
--------------------------------------
The Bell Curve of Life
At age 4....success is not peeing in your pants.
At age 12...success is having friends.
At age 16...success is having a driver's license.
At age 20...success is having sex.
At age 35...success is having money.
At age 50...success is having money.
At age 60...success is having sex.
At age 70...success is having a driver's license.
At age 75...success is having friends.
At age 80...success is not peeing in your pants.
Rudy J Boxman
-------------------------------
Computer Geek T-Shirts.....
C:\WINDOWS
C:\WINDOWS\GO
C:\PC\CRAWL
C:\DOS
C:\DOS\RUN
RUN\DOS\RUN
My name is BAUD
James BAUD
Cannot find
REALITY.SYS
Universe Halted
My computer never had bugs.
It just develops Random Features
CONGRESS.SYS
Corrupt: Re-boot Washington?
BREAKFAST.COM
Halted.....
Cereal Port Not Responding
Rudy J Boxman
_________________________
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch thesecond
person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge . . .mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not thetoy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're downthere.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rockingchair
that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers toask
you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus
___________________________
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," he responded.
"Oh! Killed any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on
the phone."
-------------------------------
Survival At Work
1. Never walk without a document in your hands
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees
heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like
they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look
like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of
stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you
work longer hours than you do.
2. Use computers to look busy
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual
observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a
blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly
the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would
like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your
boss - and you *will* get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're
teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.
3. Messy desk
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it
looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents
around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as
today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know
somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway
down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
4. Voice Mail
Never answers your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you
just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because
they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your
calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and
it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know
they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even
though you're being a devious weasel.
5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed
According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look
impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always
busy.
6. Leave the office late
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around.
You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but
have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss'
room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm,
7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.
7. Creative Sighing for Effect
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression
that you are under extreme pressure.
8. Stacking Strategy
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of
books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).
9. Build Vocabulary
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new
products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember:
They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.
10. MOST IMPORTANT!!!:
DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!
Rudy J Boxman
---------------------------------
Subject: Dangers of Alcohol Consumption!

Due to increasing products liability litigation, liquor manufacturers have
accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all containers:
!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra.
!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.
!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.
!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.
!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical
Kung Fu powers, resulting in your getting your ass kicked.
!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary.
!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible.
!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
!WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy
Rudy J Boxman.
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z,
a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z,
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z,
a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z,
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z,
a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z,
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z,
a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z,
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,0